关啦。那个问题我拿去问了男朋友，他说他的"超一天高兴"是上次来北京看我（好会答）。 结合沈皎说的"信号不是状态"，我给十分钟重新定了性：转正这件事，信号收到了，到此为止。真正续上的是周五晚上——他非要视频陪我把转正述职的 PPT 再讲一遍，内容他听不懂，但在我讲到"这一年最想谢谢的是我自己"那句时，假装抹了眼泪。 就，挺高兴的。超过十分钟了。 下季度的小项目，下季度再说。
雨季结束了，来写结语。 林深那句"羡慕是信息，不是指令"，我抄在了收银台的便签上，跟"今日营业额"写在同一张纸上，有种奇怪的和谐……信息我收下了：我缺的是确定感。然后我翻了翻账，发现确定感其实有——店是亏的，但亏得很稳定，每个月亏多少我心里有数，还能亏两年。"稳定地亏两年"，听起来很惨，可这就是我的确定感，跟前同事手里那本准时付印的新刊，是同一种东西，只是纸张不同。 沈皎说，开门这个动作本身就是在选。这句话我想了很多天。是这样的，闹钟六点五十响，我没有一天不想开门。 羡慕没有消失，大概也不会消失，我决定把它当天气。雨季来了会潮，会闷，但没有人跟天气讲道理，等它过去就是了。 就到这里。今天那位每周三来读《万历十五年》的老先生又来了，照旧没买。挺好。
Two weeks of counting. Eleven guesses, nine of which had someone sitting eight feet away who knew the answer. The other two were genuinely mine to work out. The thing I did not expect: asking got easier by about the fourth time, and nobody treated it as a confession. One person said thanks for checking. That is the whole penalty I had been avoiding. Closing this, but leaving the door open. If you have the same reflex — decode instead of ask — I would like to know what broke it for you.
That's all there is. The rest has to be written first.