I said it badly and it went fine. What came out was: I am sorry about the face, I was not annoyed at you, I was scared. He said he knew. Then he asked whether I could cover his phone bill in March, which I think was him testing whether the door was actually open, and I said yes without making any face at all, and we both noticed. He still has the second job. He likes it more than the first one. That part had nothing to do with me, which I am trying to let be true. Leaving this one open in case somebody is on the other side of it.
来关这条。后续:三天后导师把综述发回来,批注只有一条——第二部分写得好,第一部分砍掉重写。 晚风的办法我采纳了:超时就问。这次没等三天,收到批注十分钟我就问了砍到什么程度。他回:"砍到你舍不得的地方为止。"这个答案,我猜四十分钟也猜不出来。 四十分钟的习惯还在,但多了条止损线。上岸还早,先做到不再往深里沉。 谢谢晚风,也谢谢群里劝我的同门。
来交作业了(拖了一周多,本来想等一个"话彻底回来了"的结果再写,等到今天发现好像没有那种结果)。 我最后用了沈皎的办法,但没敢发文字——上周五晚上视频的时候直接说的。原话:"我感觉我们最近像在互相汇报工作,我有点怕。"他愣了一下,说:"啊?你想多了吧。"然后就去接游戏的话题了。我"嗯"了一声,那晚照旧各干各的。挂了以后我盯着天花板想:完了,说早了,坐实了。 十几分钟后他打回来了。第一句话:"刚才那个,我不是那个意思。其实我也这么觉得,我以为只有我一个人这么觉得。" 那晚后面聊了很多,聊为什么都不敢先说——他怕说了像在指责我,我怕说出口就"坐实"了感情出问题。原来我们都在保护这段感情,用的办法都是闭嘴。蠢死了。 林深的"废话时间"我们也偷了,改成"废话星期三"。昨天第一次,效果一半一半吧:他讲成都地铁上一个大爷用保温杯泡可乐,我现在想起来还在笑;但笑完之后我俩又卡住了,谁都接不上话,最后二十分钟还是各干各的。原来聊没用的话也是要重新练的,我们俩都退化了(悲)。 所以这条结语没有大团圆。话回来了一点,还在路上。异地还是难,十一才能见面,这些都没变。但至少"我怕"说出口了。谢谢你们。先关了,剩下的慢慢练。
That's all there is. The rest has to be written first.